Come and Join the British Army Lyrics

When I was young I used to be
As fine a man as ever you'd see
Till the Prince of Wales he said to me:
"Come and join the British army"
Toora loora loora loo,
They're looking for monkeys up at the zoo
And says I: "If I had a face like you,
I'd join the British army"
Oh Sarah Conlon baked a cake,
And so for poor O??Slattery's sake
Sure I threw nyself into the lake,
Pretending I was barmy
Toora loora loora loo,
I??ve made me mind up what to do,
now I??ll work me ticket home to you,
And F**k the British army
Corporal Daly went away,
His wife got in the family way
And the only thing that she could say,
Was: "Blame the British army"
Toora loora loora loo,
Me curse upon the labour pool
that took me darling boy from me
To joim the British army
Corporal Kelly's a terrible drought,
Just give him a couple of jars of stout
And he'll beat the enemy with his mouth
And save the British army
Toora loora loora loo,
I??ve made me mind up what to do,
now I??ll work me ticket home to you,
And F**k the British army
Kilted soldiers wear no drawers,
Won't you kindly lend them yours
The rich must always help the poor
To save the British army
Toora loora loora loo,
They're looking for monkeys up at the zoo
And says I: "If I had a face like you,
I'd F**k the British army"