Old Age Killed My Teenage Bride Lyrics

(intro) E G E G E G D E G E G E G D
It was a natural state of affairs; it was a quiet ambition of hers
She had a room overlooking the lawn; it was a perfect August morn
And with a crossword clue in her head, ?Origin of Species? read
?King James? under the bed.
No broken bones, no gaping wound about 10 centimetres wide
No sword protruding from her side, it's just like Dr Forbes implied
Old age killed my teenage bride.
She didn't care for adrenaline sports, never learned any difficult chords
Did she ever have a scr*p with a bear? If she did, I wasn't there
And yesterday at a hundred and one, she had a shower, cup of tea and a scone
And just as ?Cash In The Attic? came on.
Such sweet delight upon her face, no armed response team stood outside
No torso washed upon the tide, it could not be more cut and dried
Old age killed my teenage bride.
And when she reached her centenary year, they gathered round her wanting to hear
All the tips on staying the course; she said ?At 21 I got a divorce
And I hold no particular creed, I've never coveted things I don't need
Under ladders I walked without fuss ?cos it stopped me getting hit by a bus?.
And she turned to the children at her side
And said ?Take the good and the bad times in your stride?
And ?Abseil for no-one?, then she died
Seems old age killed my teenage bride
Teenage bride, my teenage bride.